I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
