Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
