just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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