Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
