Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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