How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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