I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
