your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
