she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
