I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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