Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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