I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
