I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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