someone threw a dead crab at me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
