could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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