At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
