Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
