So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So vagazzling was a success
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
