i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
