dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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