1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
