But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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