Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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