YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
