I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize