I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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