I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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