You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize