Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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