Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
