i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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