You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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