just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
