who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize