hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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