I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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