so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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