Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We are all done wearing pants today
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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