I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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