My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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