Just fell off a train. Bad.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
