theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
