The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
