Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
