I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I believe in your delicious
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
