the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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