come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
