She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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