It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
