Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
