it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
is that a dick in a sweater?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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