A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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