oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
