I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
then he tried to convert me to islam
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
