Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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