you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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