In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
